HOW TO GET OVER DEPRESSION.
Depression affects one out of five people in a lifetime. Nobody should think it couldn’t happen to him or her. It can happen at any age, to anyone with any social standing, of any intelligence, any gender, any race.
We all have moments of ‘sadness’ not being able to cope but it normally passes after a while.
When it is classed as Clinical Depression is when it interferes with your every day life and you can’t shake it off.
Depression is not uniform for everyone, different people are going to experience different symptoms ranging from sadness, feelings of hopelessness, constant negative feeling and thoughts, and constant worrying, lack of confidence and unable to concentrate.
Wanting to sleep more than usual or not being able to sleep at all, less energy, low libido (lack of interest in sex.) Inability to make even the smallest of decisions i.e. what to eat, whether to go for a walk, even to get out of bed etc. Physical symptoms of aches and pains that can’t be explained.
For those of you who have been depressed for a while you probably won’t need to me to tell you that you have lots of negative thoughts.
Or maybe you know or acknowledge you have negative thoughts but don’t see that as part of the problem, or at least, an insignificant part of the problem?
How many times have you been told to ‘cheer up’, pull yourself together’ ‘what have you got to feel unhappy about’, ‘there are others worse off than you’, and many more besides. You might have had these conversations with yourself or had someone verbalize these or some very similar.
Negative thoughts and depression are inter connected.
If you have been feeling down and low you would have been having negative thoughts, and if you have been having negative thoughts you are going to be feeling low and down.
There is something about thoughts that can sometimes make it seem impossible to be able to change them. This is due to the fact that the majority of times you are not aware of them as they are unconscious thoughts.
So much has been written about the unconscious mind and I want to simplify it as much as possible so as not to baffle or overwhelm you, but in overcoming
Depression we must have some understanding of it.
While we are fully aware of what is going on in the conscious mind, we have no idea of what information is stored in the unconscious mind.
For instance, with the conscious mind you are aware that you are thirsty and wanting a drink. On the other hand the unconscious mind contains all sorts of significant and disturbing material that we need to keep out of awareness because they are too threatening or painful to acknowledge fully.
It is because they are so powerful that they are kept buried.
Nevertheless, they can have a very significant influence.
Unconscious thoughts can be experienced as word or a few words or images.
A physical sensation possibly triggered by a word smell or memory.
Can be habitual and repeat time and time again, leading us to believe they must be true.
Even though you think they don’t make sense you end up believing them.
They are totally illogical.
It’s basically a ‘mistake’s in our thinking.
It’s also your default setting, your ‘go to’ whenever something disturbs or upsets you.
When we develop these ‘mistakes’ (beliefs), ideas and habitual thinking patterns we then tend to draw and surround ourselves with the same people who have the same beliefs or at least give off the same energy. Not many people are comfortable with the idea of inviting other people into their circle who have a different set of beliefs.
We see this as a challenge and want people near us who confirm what we believe it to be true. That then enforces our own beliefs and thinking and makes it impossible to get us to see from a different viewpoint and angle and a healthier perspective.
ATTITUDE IS A LITTLE THING THAT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE.
People with a fixed state of mind think ‘they are the way they’… ”It’s just the way I am, I have always been like this”.
An example of mind set is looking at the world positively.
You could be said to have a cheerful mindset.
You see change not as a chore and not to avoid, but to grow and develop better habits, you embrace the challenge.
Lets say its Wednesday morning and the alarm just went off, what is the first question you ask yourself if you say, “Why do I have to go to work Today”?
How is that going to affect your attitude? If you say, “why do I feel so tired and run down”, how is that going to affect your energy levels?
With those two simple questions you have set yourself up for a disappointing day. Why? Because now your mind is focused on finding reasons why you are tired and have to do something you don’t want to do like go to work.
What if the first two questions you asked yourself were….“what do I have to look forward to today, and “what am I most grateful for right now”?
Even if you don’t have the immediate answers to those questions, your mind will focus on finding the answers.
Ask yourself those questions a few times and notice how the answers make you feel.
All of a sudden you have something to look forward to and something to be grateful for. How will that mindset affect your day?
Some of us are constantly re-running in our sub-conscious mind past events and memories in either our childhood, teenage or adult lives. Moments that still leave us with hurt or uncomfortable feelings. These feeling from those events can be triggered in an instant because of some innocent comment someone has said, or how they have supposedly spoken or looked at you.
Most of us are on automatic pilot.
Replay the memory with compassionate attention on yourself.
The most important technique I use involves replaying my hurtful memories, but this time with compassion and understanding for my own experience of the events involved.
When many of us think of difficult incidents from our lives, we focus solely on how other people behaved and felt in those events. We think only about how angry with us they seemed to be, how disappointed they said they were, how dismissively they behaved toward us, and so forth.
We pay no attention to what we felt, wanted, or understood in the incidents we keep reliving.
When we start looking at a memory again with some compassion for ourselves at the time of the event, the memory ceases to cut as deeply.
KILL PAINFUL MEMORIES BY CREATING A BETTER ONE.
I’ll give an example from my life. When I was about 9 years old I came home from school upset because of the fact I had been sent out of the class room for copying someone else’s work (which I hadn’t done.) I got a lot of grief over it from the other children and couldn’t wait to get home (still upset) at lunchtime to tell my Mother.
When I told my Mother she said, “You’ll be alright” and walked away from me. I knew my Mother found shows of affection difficult, but that left me very upset and running upstairs to my bedroom crying.
I remember at that time feeling very alone and was sure in that moment I would feel alone for the rest of my life, and nothing seemed to dull the pain of that moment at school, but in particular my Mothers reaction to me.
I replayed that scenario over and over in my head many times throughout my life. Feeling all those same thoughts and feelings of rejection and loneliness each time.
This – was before I started to replay the memory again but this time with some attention on my own experience during the event.
Unlike in my earlier reruns of this memory, I took care not to interpret or judge the facts of the incident. I didn’t try to come up with reasons why my Mother’s behavior was wrong, but see it from the point of view of the adult I was now.
When I viewed the mental movie again with some attention on myself, I was able to recognize that I was just a sensitive little girl who had interpreted her Mother’s reaction, or lack of it as she didn’t love her, but in particular acknowledging that my Mother never knew how to show affection because she had never received it herself.
I knew it wasnt personal because she wasn’t just like that with me but also with my two brothers.
Being the sensitive child I was I had taken it personally like it was to do with me and who I was.
When I look back I was angry with my Mother, and my way of punishing her was vowing to myself “I will always be alone”.
But of cause, the only person I was punishing was myself.
It took me many years to work out that simple fact.
DEPRESSION TREATMENT OPTIONS
Cognitive Behavior Therapy has been one of the tools that has helped me enormously.
It is the practice of creating new habits that will influence your thinking.
The good news is that though you initially would need to see a therapist but then you can apply yourself. Anyone can learn CBT and the more you practice the quicker you will see some amazing results.
It gets you to look at incidents and events in your life from a third person perspective….sort of on the outside looking in.
It’s a powerful tool that is not just for depression and anxiety, but also incredibly effective with issues of low self esteem, insomnia, eating disorders, insomnia, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and addictions.
Wouldnt you want to learn to problem solve and have good effective coping strategies for all difficult events in life that throw us off kilter?
Read this review to understand better how Cognitive Behavior Therapy CBT, a practical based, common sense mood moderater can help you learn how to self help yourself in the most effective way possible out of your depression, anxiety, stress, and other related illnesses.