How – Being Depressed is ‘Hard Work’.
You may not know it, but being depressed is definitely something you have to work at, hence why depressed people are always feeling tired and exhausted and suffering from “depression fatigue”.
You constantly live in your head even though you are not consciously aware of it.
Keeping your mind active, overthinking everything that happens through a day wears you down emotionally and physically.
It’s your default setting that you return to every hour of every single day.
Depression is a mistake in your thinking and an error in how you process and
perceive life around you.
Your logical thinking knows it not to be true, but you still illogically struggle with your feelings and emotions every day.
Giving your mind no rest from this constant inner chatter takes it’s toll on you physically and emotionally. Even the smallest task becomes an effort.
Issues from your childhood, an event or trauma in your life, are all triggers.
When traumatic events happen in your life it makes you fearful, because fear happens due to feeling like you have no control over your life and what happens to you.
Fear it self can put you in a state of constant awareness, and constant awareness and the inability to wind down makes it almost impossible to relax, which in turn causes stress and can also effect your sleep patterns.
Then as an added bonus, there is also the loneliness that comes with fear, making you feel you have only yourself to depend on and no one to depend on who understands.
So you go through the ‘hard work’ of suppressing your emotions and turning them inwards not knowing what else to do with them, not wanting to feel or acknowledge those emotions, carrying a burden with you every day through constant restlessness.
The Defining Moment in My Life.
Unfortunately I remember my childhood with sadness due to my Mother not
bonding with me from a baby/child, not showing any affection and being totally absent emotionally.
The realization that my Mother was not ‘there’ for me happened when I was about 9-10 years old.
After coming home from school upset about an incident that had had happened in class, I went to my Mother looking for reassurance and comfort. My Mother stood there looking like she knew what she should do but could not bring herself to do it. A hug, a reassuring words, a touch were all beyond her capabilities.
I remember running to my bedroom crying – as much for her coldness and lack of empathy as the incident itself.
So there I sat in my bedroom, vowing fervently to myself that I would always be alone.
I realized many years later that making that vow I was under the misguided belief I was punishing my Mother, where in actual fact, I was of cause putting a lot of hard work into punishing myself.
The hard work I had put into being angry and resentful towards my Mother was the beginning and decline into depression, and the creation of my role as a ‘Victim’.
I didnt know until many years later that my lethargy and tiredness was not due to having some physical illness as I thought then, but was due to my depression and anxiety.
It wasn’t until the early 90’s I started to read about the Mind Body connection and about another ten years before I really began to understand it in relation to my depression.
LIFE ISNT ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF – IT’S ABOUT CREATING YOURSELF!
This may be difficult to hear, but depression in most cases and definitely mine was not just something that happened to me, it’s something I created.
This is not about weakness or blaming yourself, because this is never, or rarely done consciously.
We are all unique in our differences, so we all react differently to trials, disappointments, trauma, and life in general.
Our start in life, the support, love and nurturing we did or didnt have, our role models, or lack of role models all played a part
The definition of the word ‘creation’ is – “the action or process of bringing something into existence”.
It’s only when acknowledging this fact to be true could I start making drastic changes.
If you can put ‘hard work’ into thoughts that make your depressed and unhappy – guess what? – you can equally get down to the creating and making those thoughts that
help you to become happy and depression free.
You are quite simply – teaching yourself how to be happy.
You will know when you are feeling better, when every day it is not an effort to get out of bed, and effort to bathe, an effort to eat and especially an effort to interact with family and friends.
I use the analogy that you are in effect learning a new skill.
For instance learning a new language is a skill that you have to continuously practice at before you can come any where near to mastering it.
The skill you are learning here is to change your negative, destructive thinking to positive constructive thinking.
Happiness is an Inside Job!
So instead of putting all your energies into the ‘hard work’ of thinking yourself miserable, put all your energies into the ‘gentle work’ of healing and finding wellness.
Who knows – maybe if I had had an idea or the insight of what ‘hard work ‘it was
going to be to become depressed, and how all consuming it was, I might have opted for the alternative and put less hard work into the effort of being happy.
FINDING THE CURE STARTS WITH HOPE
There have been many amazing people who in one way or another have played a
part in my recovery, but COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPY helped me to become my own therapist, change my fixed mindset, and the turning point in my healing.
CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) gets you to look at yours thoughts, behavior and feelings and see how they are interconnected.
CBT teaches you to identify the triggers that affect your moods and how to challenge and amend them.
All the more amazing its something you can do on your own, (or with a therapist.)
Click here to learn about Cognitive Behavior Therapy and how you can gain easy access to it.
I am not a medical professional these articles are purely based on my
own journey through depression and experience over many years. These
are not just theories I have read, but theories I have practiced and
have knowledge of.